Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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