Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We had sex on a dog bed..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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