don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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