Four minutes until I can fart!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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