no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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