Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
