It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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