I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
