no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
