everyone is single if you try hard enough
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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