my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize