Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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