i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
