Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
