It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
