I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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