Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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