Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
