We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
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No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
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You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules