so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
mondays should just be called national damage control day
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Pants are for mortals