i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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