Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
two words...techno handjob
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
PANTIES FOUND
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