YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
