i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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