I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
