end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
