dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
