Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize