Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
