Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
its liver damage thursday
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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