Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
