My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
