the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize