I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
send nudes
from the living room?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
