Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
