I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
