I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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