So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
