Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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