I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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