We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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