I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You're a waste of cheezeits
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
