U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
