quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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