why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
