'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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