marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
