Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize