I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize