Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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