we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
