When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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