Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
