I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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