Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
