I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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