quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
