Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
