No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
