i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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