youre lurking in front of me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
