guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
