i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
