the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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