I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
