I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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