I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize