Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
