I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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