dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize